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August 23, 2023Male Victims
Male Victims
Basic info
Why is this website called WomensLaw.org? Is the information here only applicable to women?
Even though the website is called WomensLaw.org, the legal information included here is applicable to everyone regardless of their sex or gender. This website was created with women in mind because a very large percentage of victims of domestic violence and sexual assault are women. However, we understand that for a male victim, those statistics are irrelevant and the need for assistance and support is just as important. Our hope is that on this website, you can find the information you need and the support you deserve.
What are gender stereotypes and what does it have to do with domestic violence?
Gender stereotyping is assigning characteristics, differences, and attributes to someone based on his/her gender.1 Traditionally, to consider a man “masculine,” he would be expected to display strength, power, competitiveness, and be less emotional and affectionate, especially towards fellow men.2
Most of society, including some men who are victims of domestic violence and, often times, service providers and first responders, may have these stereotypes ingrained in their worldview. People might think a man is too emotional if they see him cry often or that he’s not being ‘manly’ enough if he’s not a good provider or doesn’t know how to work with tools.3 So, when a man is a victim of domestic violence, he, or the people he reaches out to, including the police, healthcare system, and even organizations that work with domestic violence, might have conflicting attitudes towards his report. This, in turn, will affect when and if men report being abused and the response they receive as a result.4 For more information on this, please see Why is it so difficult for men to look for and find help and support?
1 Gender Stereotyping, Gender Equality Law Center.
2 Fawkner, H.J., Encyclopedia of Body Image and Human Appearance (2012).
3 See Healthy Masculinity, U matter, Princeton University.
4 See Why Men Who Are Domestic Violence Victims Don’t Report, Psychology Today.
Abuse against men
How common is it for men to be abused by an intimate partner?
If you’re a man in an abusive relationship, it’s important to know that you are not alone. Abuse of men happens far more often than you might expect. About one in three men have experienced sexual violence, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime. And approximately one in ten men report an impact from that victimization. The most common impacts reported in a survey conducted by the Centers for Disease Control were fear, concern for safety, and symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.1
1 Intimate Partner Violence, Sexual Violence, and Stalking Among Men, Centers for Disease Control (2018 update).
What types of abuse do men suffer?
Men can experience the same types and tactics of abuse as people of all genders do, such as stalking, harassment, physical, psychological, and sexual abuse. However, the way men face or perceive abuse can be different. For example, men may believe that physical abuse is not an effective control tactic because they still feel powerful and physically able to stop the abuse.
Psychological abuse, which is one of the most common forms of domestic violence experienced by men, usually targets a man’s masculinity. Men are usually accused of not being “manly” enough, not making enough money, being weak, or crying when abused. The critical literature review reports that while most men may not fear physical violence, they may fear the degradation and humiliation that comes from psychological abuse, especially in public.1
If you believe you are being abused by your partner, you may want to look at the Danger Assessment and Signs of Abuse sections in our Am I Being Abused? page. This information could help you identify abusive behaviors that are part of a pattern of behavior intended to maintain power and control over you.
1 Scott-Storey, K., et al., What About Men? A Critical Review of Men’s Experiences of Intimate Partner Violence- Trauma, Violence & Abuse (2022).
Why is it so difficult for men to look for and find help and support?
Sadly, getting help for male victims of abuse can be very difficult for many reasons, including limited funding available and limited services focused on men. There are also certain gender stereotypes that can affect whether men reach out for services or support and, also, how they are treated when they do. We have more information about this in What are gender stereotypes and what does it have to do with domestic violence?
Male victims can experience disbelief, insensitivity, ridicule, or even hostility in response to a claim of victimization from a female partner in particular. In a study published in 2020, some men reported being under-acknowledged, mistreated, and penalized for seeking help, which can stop them from seeking support and could put them and their children at additional risk. Victims can also struggle with the stigma associated with being a male victim of domestic violence.1 Consequently, men tend to minimize, conceal, or deny the abuse in an attempt to avoid the social stigma related to the perceived inability to protect themselves.2
If you are being abused, please consider reaching out for help and support in your community. We also list additional resources in Where can I receive help and support?
1 Machado, A., Hines, D., Douglas, E., Male Victims of Female-Perpetrated Partner Violence: A Qualitative Analysis of Men’s Experiences, the Impact of Violence, and Perceptions of Their Worth (2020).
2 Patrick, W., Why Men Who are Domestic Violence Victims Don’t Report (2020).
Ending the abuse
Can I file for a restraining order against my abusive partner?
One tool that can be helpful when any victim is trying to escape from domestic violence is a restraining order, also known as a protection order, injunction, etc. A restraining order can provide many forms of protection and can order an abuser to:
- stop all contact;
- stay away;
- leave the home; and
- do, or stop doing, other things ordered by the judge to keep you safe.
Anyone can file for a restraining order if s/he has been the victim of one of the qualifying acts of abuse included in the state’s laws. You can look for the legal definition of domestic violence in your state in our Restraining Orders section.
If you have specific questions about your state’s laws or your legal situation, you can reach us through our Email Hotline.
Where can I receive help and support?
If you are an abuse victim, please ask for help. No one should have to be afraid or feel unsafe in his or her relationship.
In general, local domestic violence organizations provide services to all survivors/victims of domestic violence, including male victims. Most organizations provide services regardless of actual or perceived sex, race, color, religion, national origin, gender identity, sexual orientation, or ability/disability. If you are unable to find an organization that is a good fit for you, you may want to consider contacting the domestic violence coalition in your state. They can try to help refer you to services that may better suit your needs.
There are also a few national organizations that were established to help men, specifically; see our National Organizations - Male Victims page.
